Don't Keel Over Now
by ruby slippers12
Summary: And she wishes that he was wrong, because she knows that this is her fault, their impending break-up. On paper he's everything she could want and need, but in real life that doesn't matter. Slight but eventual Harvey/ Donna


Author's Note: Hey, guys! So recently I haven't been able to get these two out of my head, especially after listening to This Isn't Everything You Are by Snow Patrol, which inspired this story. Basically just so you're not confused, each chapter is kind of a stand-alone that fits into a jumbled up timeline of the two of them. I hope you enjoy! And reviews are awesome and they make my day!

* * *

_You can't find the phone,_

_So you can call it off,_

_But it might be for the best._

_You can't walk away, anyway,_

_Because you've got nowhere else to go._

"You've got to be kidding me! How the hell do you get from point A to point B on that one?!" What had been intended as a simple dinner followed by a relaxing night had quickly escalated to a full-blown screaming match. She picked up her glass of wine, hoping that by finishing the second glass of the night would help her restrain the desire to kill him right now.

"I don't understand how you can refuse to come with me without even thinking about it!"

"Oh please, I've thought about it for the past two days. What the hell am I supposed to do in San Francisco, huh? I'm supposed to quit my job, leave my friends and family so I can move across the country to be with you? We've barely been together a year!" It was the heart of her argument and one of the secrets in their relationship. She was the one who held back, the one who was afraid to fully commit. She was always waiting for the second shoe to drop. Maybe this was her way out, why fight for something she really wasn't sure about? The problem was that she wanted to want him, she wished she was in love with him.

Until the ultimatum he gave her three days ago, he had been the perfect example of the ideal boyfriend. He took her to the best restaurants in New York City when they went on dates. He thought she was beautiful and wasn't afraid to tell her. He was a pediatric surgeon and a mentor for Big Brothers Big Sisters. He had been just what she needed but she just couldn't allow herself to risk it all in order to follow him to the West Coast.

"It's not like I'm saying you can never come back to New York and see your family and friends. And if you're the so-called best legal secretary in New York, there's got to be at least five places that will hire you in San Francisco." He stops yelling and finally puts the dishes he had slammed down on the counter nearly a half hour ago into the sink. Maybe he thinks he can end the argument by simply not yelling anymore, but the passive-aggressive comment he made about her career makes her see red.

"So you want me to leave _everything_ so that I can follow you cross-country?"

"Jesus Christ, Donna! You're gonna stay here so you can one day have the possibility to be with him? He's your boss and you're not in some god-damned romantic comedy!" He yells at her once again and she's suddenly aware that the walls of her apartment are fairly thin and that most if not all of her neighbors can hear this argument. This argument that has already been fought many times before and she's fairly certain that Mrs. Gunderson down the hall thinks she's been sleeping with her boss all along. Granted, that assumption was probably based on the rather heated embrace her neighbor had witnessed long ago, but the fact that they fought over Harvey's involvement in her life on nearly a bi-weekly basis didn't help dissuade her elderly neighbor.

"Oh my god. You're going back to this argument again?!" She understands that he doesn't believe her when she says that there's nothing between them, because to be honest she doesn't fully believe it herself. Sure, a few years ago there had been a flicker of something between them but now they were just co-workers and basically each other's best friend and confidant. And that was it.

"Yeah, I am because your _everything_ shouldn't be your job or your boss! The fact that you can't see that just shows how much you're still hung up on him, I just…I don't think I want to wait for you to figure it out anymore." And she wishes that he was wrong, because she knows that this is her fault, their impending break-up. On paper he's everything she could want and need, but in real life that doesn't matter.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't." Even though she swears the feelings went away long ago and that she no longer loves or thinks she loves Harvey Specter, deep inside, maybe she is waiting for him to choose her.

* * *

Of course, Rachel was the only one she told about the breakup with James, mainly because she was the only one who knew she had been dating him seriously. So even though she hadn't wanted to go out, Rachel had forced her with the promise of drinks. His plane left this morning and part of her wishes that she had gone with him. The past two weeks had given her the chance to think about the demise of yet another relationship and how the phrase about not realizing what you had until it was gone, was eerily true.

After three drinks, one bought by Rachel and the other two bought by the guy at the opposite end of the bar, she thinks it's a great idea to call him, even if it's just to make sure he got to San Francisco in one piece. Even though Rachel had declared a no-calling rule for the night, she had gone to the bathroom and what was the worst she could do, take her phone away? He picks up on the second ring and it takes her a second to actually respond to his questioning hello.

"I miss you," Is the first thing that comes to mind and comes out of her mouth, which can easily be attributed to the alcohol.

"Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry about everything. It wasn't necessarily fair to try and force you out here. Just know that if you change your mind though, I'd still love it if you came here. You'd really like it." She thinks that she'd like it for a vacation, not as a substitute for living in New York City.

"I got to go, I'm next in line, but I'm glad you called. And I meant it, about moving here." He hangs up and she notices Rachel walking back towards her, shaking her head on the way over.

"What did I say about phones? No good can come from a drunk-dial, hand it over!" Rachel half demands, half laughs at her while waiting for the cell phone to be put in her outstretched hand. Donna hands it over and motions for another drink from the bartender.

Two lemon drop shots later and she's almost convinced herself that a change of pace could be a good thing. What better way to get Harvey out of her system than to move to a different city and fully commit to her relationship with James. She could do it, go home and buy a ticket and fly out in the next month or next day if she really wanted to. She needed to balance her work and personal life and maybe San Francisco could offer her help with that.

"Hey, you look like you're in another world, what're you thinking about?"

"Maybe I should move to San Francisco." Once again she can attribute her direct honesty to the alcohol, but also hopes that Rachel has some kind of insight into her dilemma.

"No. You cannot leave New York! What would I do without you? I'd have no one to come out for drinks after work! And seriously, how long would Harvey survive without you? He barely made it that week when you had the flu a few years ago." Rachel points out what is causing her to question her drunken epiphany, that she could never abandon him the way everyone else had. Then again, that was part of the reason she wanted to leave wasn't it?

"Can I have my phone back?" She gives Rachel her best sad-puppy face to no avail.

"No. Clearly if he's asking you to move to San Francisco and give up everything you've worked for he doesn't understand how important your job is to you. Sure a job is not a boyfriend, but it is such a part of you that if you gave it up, you wouldn't be the same Donna. Okay?" Rachel knew exactly what Donna had needed to hear, one of the reasons they were such good friends.

"Now come on, let's get those guys over there to buy us drinks." Rachel hopped off the stool and walked to the other side of the bar. She took that chance to reach into her pocket to grab her phone to call James back and tell him that maybe she should move out there. Forgetting her phone had been taken by Rachel, she only grasped lint at the bottom of her pocket and gave up, telling herself that she'd call tomorrow morning when she wasn't so drunk. This promise however is completely forgotten when she wakes up with little memory of the night before and a killer hangover the next day.


End file.
